Jokes thread
- Thread starter audept
- Start date
And an appropriate cartoon for Thanksgiving:
Been posted multiple times, but you can't have a Thanksgiving Day without WKRP's Turkey Drop.
cielski
I Bleed Orange
Tis the season.....
Avon lady was alone on an elevator. Too much Taco Bell gave her some GI issues.
She lets loose a horrible fart. Quickly, she goes into her bag and pulls out some Christmas Tree spray as she was selling it for the holidays.
The elevator stops and an obviously drunk man stumbles in. He starts sniffing loudly.
"What do you smell?" she asked.
"Smells like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Avon lady was alone on an elevator. Too much Taco Bell gave her some GI issues.
She lets loose a horrible fart. Quickly, she goes into her bag and pulls out some Christmas Tree spray as she was selling it for the holidays.
The elevator stops and an obviously drunk man stumbles in. He starts sniffing loudly.
"What do you smell?" she asked.
"Smells like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
What did the full glass of water say to the empty glass?
You're drunk.
You're drunk.
cielski
I Bleed Orange
More Christmas humor---
One Christmas Eve, Santa was having troubles. His belt broke, he found a hole in his boot the hard way, the reindeer were acting up, their rigging was all tangled up, and the dwarves were being annoying. Santa was not in a good mood.
One little angel comes running up to Santa with a Christmas Tree, yelling, "Santa! Santa! Santa! What should I do with this tree?"
And that, my children, is how the angel came to be on the top of the tree.
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The university theater I worked at has a huge Christmas show. We sell 36K tickets every year, and actually have 12K attend for free during videotaping. 400 Glee Clubbers singing, full orchestra, massive sets, and our 6,000 seat theater is totally decked out. We recycle sets every decade or so, and make new pieces every year.
One year, we had what was called a Living Christmas Tree, holding 150 singers on seven levels. At the very top, there is one cute little lady dressed as an angel, as she should be.
One of the hands tells her the above joke. At the very top of the tree is written, where only she can see it, "Remember why there's an Angel on Top of the Tree". She usually grins all the way thru the piece.
One Christmas Eve, Santa was having troubles. His belt broke, he found a hole in his boot the hard way, the reindeer were acting up, their rigging was all tangled up, and the dwarves were being annoying. Santa was not in a good mood.
One little angel comes running up to Santa with a Christmas Tree, yelling, "Santa! Santa! Santa! What should I do with this tree?"
And that, my children, is how the angel came to be on the top of the tree.
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The university theater I worked at has a huge Christmas show. We sell 36K tickets every year, and actually have 12K attend for free during videotaping. 400 Glee Clubbers singing, full orchestra, massive sets, and our 6,000 seat theater is totally decked out. We recycle sets every decade or so, and make new pieces every year.
One year, we had what was called a Living Christmas Tree, holding 150 singers on seven levels. At the very top, there is one cute little lady dressed as an angel, as she should be.
One of the hands tells her the above joke. At the very top of the tree is written, where only she can see it, "Remember why there's an Angel on Top of the Tree". She usually grins all the way thru the piece.
cielski
I Bleed Orange
Non binary gold prospector---They dug up a fortune in them/their hills.
JeffreyLeePierre
Country Gent
Missing: Just Like Honey from The Jesus & Mary Chain.
