Jokes thread

drmilktruck

I Bleed Orange
May 17, 2009
19,752
Plymouth, MN
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Screen%20Shot%202022-08-14%20at%207.41.14%20AM-M.png
 

MrWookiee

Country Gent
Jun 17, 2020
1,513
SoCal, USA

wabash slim

I Bleed Orange
Feb 10, 2010
18,260
lafayette in
This isn't actually a joke. But I thought it was funny. Hardluck kings (makes cheap guitars) was advertising a blow out sale so I clicked the link out of curiosity.

The conditions state the below. I think they need some math lessons. 100% minus $29 is not 100%. 😄

USA Returns Are On Us + 100% refund less a $29 restock fee.
They missed that day in math class.
 

RagnarHairybreeks

Gretschie
Aug 1, 2022
108
Gloucester England
This isn't actually a joke. But I thought it was funny. Hardluck kings (makes cheap guitars) was advertising a blow out sale so I clicked the link out of curiosity.

The conditions state the below. I think they need some math lessons. 100% minus $29 is not 100%. 😄

USA Returns Are On Us + 100% refund less a $29 restock fee.
I genuinely misread the name of the company with an f rather than an l and did a massive double take.
 

wabash slim

I Bleed Orange
Feb 10, 2010
18,260
lafayette in
Old spinster finds a brass oil lamp in an antique store.
She gets it home, starts to polish it, and a genie appears.
He gives her the standard three wishes.
"Make me young and beautiful again."
ZOT! She's centerfold material.
"Make me fabulously wealthy."
ZOT! Money, jewels, gold bars, the works.
"Now, turn my cat into a handsome young prince."
Zot! He's an Adonis.
"The young prince looks at her and says, "I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered now."
 

drmilktruck

I Bleed Orange
May 17, 2009
19,752
Plymouth, MN
Funny bit from the New Yorker humor column

Why You Shouldn’t Room With James Taylor​


https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/...uld-find-a-new-roommate-whos-not-james-taylor

A few of my favorite reasons:

James Taylor is always saying he’s your handyman, but when you ask if he’ll unclog the toilet he says he can only fix broken hearts.

You’re sick of his annoying friend Jackson Browne coming over for a beer, because it’s never just a beer—it’s Jackson and James getting into an endless argument about who’s sold more albums, and then Jackson crashing on your couch until noon.

When you’re in the shower, James Taylor pokes his head in and yells, “Shower the people you love with love!,” and then laughs maniacally.
 


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