Jokes thread

wabash slim

I Bleed Orange
Feb 10, 2010
lafayette in
This guy's in front of a judge, charged with killing an endangered species, to wit, a bald eagle.
"What do you have to say for yourself, sir?" asked the judge.
"Well, your Honor, I'd been separated from my hunting party for three days, and was lost in the mountains. I'd run out of food, and couldn't find my way back to camp. I missed my shots at other game, and was down to one last bullet. When something big flew closely in front of me, I just shot on instinct, not even really aiming. Only then did I realize it was a bald eagle. Starving as I was, and the damage already done, I dressed the bird, cooked it, and ate it, saving my life."
"As it was extenuating circumstances, I'll rule in your favor. You're free to go." said the judge. "By the way, I've got to asked---what does eagle taste like?"
"The guy answered, "Oh, like a cross between California Condor and Spotted Owl."

Old guy out in a boat was dynamiting fish. Tosses in a stick of dynamite, it blows, and dead and stunned fish float to the surface.
A fish and game officer happens upon the old guy scooping up the fish. He starts berating the man and threatening him with fines and jail
The old timer, lights a stick of dynamite, and calmly tosses it into the officer's boat.
"Well, ya gonna talk or fish?"