Fondest memory

TSims1

Gretschified
Jun 18, 2013
12,668
Atlanta
Was just sitting here thinking(I know - Tony, don’t hurt yourself!)…..one day when you are on your deathbed and looking back over your life……what will be your fondest memory? What was the very best thing you did, or that life offered you?
And on the flip side…..what will be your greatest regret?

Now, I hopefully have half of my life left to live, but as of today I can answer assuredly.
FONDEST MEMORY is marrying my wife. She is the absolutely best decision I ever made, and the life trajectory I have been on since teaming up with her as been truly amazing. Almost all the current good in my life came from that one decision.

REGRET…..that’s a tough one. I suppose I would say the selfishness I exhibited as a young man. I foolishly thought the world revolved around me and was often tempted by the worldly pleasures offered. I’m grateful to have learned my lessons and come through the other side. I’ve learned true happiness in life never ever comes from yourself or focusing inwardly. It always and only comes from investing in others.

Anyways - what say you? Inquiring minds want to know! :)
 

Bertotti

Friend of Fred
Jul 20, 2017
9,799
South Dakota
That’s awesome. Sounds like you’ve had a wonderful journey. :)
Not completely but I am well aware that if given the chance the simplest little change would completely alter where I am now and I wouldn’t. I have the wife and kids I want and would never help destroy it. The bad things that happen shape and mold us. We are like steel ingots in a forge slowly being beaten into the beings we are. God laid out the paths and gave us the choices who am I to change that.
 
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blueruins

Country Gent
May 28, 2013
4,813
Savannah, GA
Agreed Tony…my wife is the biggest blessing in my life and our kids make every day better than the last.

Regrets in life are too many and too sad to mention. Any good that comes from me is The Lords doing. That said I’ve never hurt anyone on purpose.

I think my gravestone will read:
“HE MEANT WELL”
 

Henry

I Bleed Orange
Apr 9, 2014
18,985
Petaluma
It is the same moment but captured many times. I am walking with my wife and 2 kids, sometimes hand-in-hand. Something happens (wind gusts, a gap opens in the crowd) and my scalp tingles, there is a frsh stillness in the air. At that moment, I have my family, my team, and I feel like everything is possible in the world. All I ever need is with me. The first time was walking with my wife to the altar.

And the births of my two children. in awe to the power and strength of the goddess that is my wife and the excitement of new children.
 

loudnlousy

Gretschified
Oct 18, 2015
12,554
Germany
My fondest memories are my gigging-years in the late eighties and early nineties. These were a lighthearted "freedom-experience" and a big adventure. Even the most miserable situations look hilarious to me in hindsight.

The thing that I regret the most is marrying my wife. Because of her progressing mental illness our life became more and more unbearable in every aspect.
I stand to the promise that I gave to her more than 11 years ago, still.
But thinking about that I am close to my retirement and that I will have to stand this situation 24/7 fills me with sheer panic...
 

Gregor

Country Gent
Oct 17, 2018
1,363
New Brunswick, Canada
Yep, marriage for sure (please forward this to her)...56 years and counting. Followed by the birth of 2 great girls and then a wonderful grandson and granddaughter... God's reward to us for not killing our kids.
Regrets for sure but once the toothpaste is out you can't put it back in so I don’t harp on it. Most of them when I was younger. Now retired, I wake up in the morning with nothing to do and go to bed with only half of it done....that's it folks!
 

Henry

I Bleed Orange
Apr 9, 2014
18,985
Petaluma
Oh forgot the regret part.

Mostly any and all of my bad behavior to my wife and kids (nothing really bad like cheating or physical abuse, just being the occasional jerk and cranky daddy).

Between college and law school I visited my best friend from 8th grade whom I hadn't seen since his parents sent him to boarding school as a sophomore in high school. After, he asked if I wanted to start a band (he had become a very good bass player and me a decent guitar player) but I had just started law school. And we were in different states. I said no. I found out that he committed suicide a couple months later.

I don't regret saying no and I don't blame myself, but I wish I had called him and talked to him more. As whimsical as I can be, I somehow tend to be a steadying or calming influence on people. Just maybe it could have pushed back from the edge. Ever since 8th grade, he was the bad influence on me and I was the good influence on him.

He is the only person close to me that has died and I am still wracked with sobbing pain every few years when thinking about him.

RIP Sean.
 
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Stefan87

Country Gent
May 20, 2019
3,098
Brisbane, Australia
Another one here for my wife and daughter, any moment with them can qualify as a my fondest memory, there are others with friends and familly ofcourse or just the view of an empty highway out the front window of my car at 3am while driving just cos i could, but ultimately my wife and daught will always win the best thing in my life award.

As for regrets, like Bertotti said, the past paves the present, if not for the past then you're not the person you are now and no matter what the situation is today good or bad its how you choose to see it that matters, i always try to focus on the good not the bad no matter how hard that is at the time, yes there are things that i would've liked to go differently in the past but right now i wouldn't do anything to change today.

*** The only exception for the above is that i wish my Dad got to see his sons get married and to meet his grandchildren but it just wasn't written that way unfortunately.
 

radd

Friend of Fred
Dec 27, 2017
5,981
Santa Cruz
I don't regret saying no and I don't blame myself, but I wish I had called him and talked to him more.

Sorry about your friend.

I can relate somewhat. I fell out of touch with two great friends, each from a different time in my life and when I finally reached out again one had passed and the other was in the last stages of Cancer. I did see him before he passed.
 

Stefan87

Country Gent
May 20, 2019
3,098
Brisbane, Australia
The thing that I regret the most is marrying my wife. Because of her progressing mental illness our life became more and more unbearable in every aspect.
I stand to the promise that I gave to her more than 11 years ago, still.
But thinking about that I am close to my retirement and that I will have to stand this situation 24/7 fills me with sheer panic...
My wife went through a rough time with her mental health too, it was a tough 4 years and thankfully she had the will power and strength to slowly and steadily work through it to get where she is today, while i don't know the extent of what you are going through i think i have an idea, by standing by your promise you made to her shows you are a man of good value and that you care about her deeply to stay by her side, i wish you and your wife all the best and hope that she does see an end to her internal struggles (sorry but the mental health subject hits home a bit with me so i tend to ramble with it).
 

loudnlousy

Gretschified
Oct 18, 2015
12,554
Germany
i wish you and your wife all the best and hope that she does see an end to her internal struggles
Thank you for your kind words, Stefan.
I am happy that my wife is in medical treatment now (it was a long way to even persuade her that there is help for her problems).
But it is still a very long way to go and her doctor told me that her therapy will possibly lead to some kind of relief, only. A complete healing would be optimistic. (She is a borderline-patient.)
 


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